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This will be my last tumblr post

Nice knowing you all.

Nobody asked for life to deal us

With these bullshit hands we’re dealt
We have to take these cards ourselves
And flip them, don’t expect no help
Now I could have either just
Sat on my ass and pissed and moaned
But take this situation in which I’m placed in
And get up and get my own

Drunk Tumblring

Hello again tumblr/journal.  Did I mention lately that if people were to find my tumblr I think they would hate me?  That’s true.  On the bright side, I hate everyone else already, so that might even the score.  I am so fucked right now, due to excessive sleep depravation.  The thing is, I’m not tired.

I took your suggestion a la previous entry.  It didn’t help.  What should I do?

I’m thinking: hey.  Why not just not show up to things?  Maybe people will miss me.  Or, I’ll become an antisocial old man.  That works too, i guess.  But i don’t think it works very well.

On the bright side, I have nothing for the swim back.  Just was a dick to some girl because I wasn’t in the mood to be social.  Oh well.  At least the country is governable, and people are smart enough to pick quality leaders.  Oh wait… scratch that.

If I rip a chunk of my cheek out because I like the pain, does that make me a vampire?

Posting text on my tumblr.

It’s kind of like writing on facebook.  Except 99% of the people I know don’t see it.  So it’s kind of like writing in a journal.  Hello journal.  It’s 11:56pm on a Thursday night, and I hate everyone.  That about sums it up.  How are you doing?  It occurs to me that talking directly to my tumblr is a sign of insanity.  I don’t care.

Anyway, today I took the second part of my CS test.  It was easy.  I have two tests tomorrow, but I’m going to fail both of them, so meh.  Sleep is overrated anyway.  I’ve also managed to piss off a bunch of people I respect.  That’s always fun + profit.

On the bright side, I had some delicious cake today.  It was chocolate, or at least it was brown.  And it was perfectly proportioned too; it was wrapped like a muffin cup.  I think I’ll refer to it as a cupcake.  It was yummy.

It occurs to me that I could be out partying right now.  I don’t care about that either.  I really don’t have any other analysis besides that.

I’m going to bed, journal.  Reply back when shit matters?

If I ever have kids

I kinda wanna be the dad who scares the shit out of teenage playas.

Neither of those possibilities seem likely, however.

How much does your life weigh?

Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack.  I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life.

You start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks…

Then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV…

The backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home…

I want you to stuff it all into that backpack.

Now I want you to fill it with people.

Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office.  And then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack.

Feel the weight of that bag.

Make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components in your life; all those negotiations, and arguments, and secrets - the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living.

Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers; monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.

We are sharks.